A phrase I’ve been using a lot lately, one that has become a personal cliche of sorts, is “it’s all about how you appraise it”. Yes, sometimes a stick of chewing gum can only just be a stick of chewing gum, and a pile of dung just a pile of dung, but how do you choose (keyword) to perceive most of the events in your life? Was that really the worst that could have happened? Is the neighbourhood you live in dangerous?
Perspective is everything.
I’ve had this happen many times: I come across a new song on youtube. I dig the song, download it, and listen to it for a few days. A few weeks after my initial encounter with the song, I will walk into a store/turn on the radio/watch a movie and hear the song for the first time “accidentally”. Is the song “following” me? Did the universe’s pieces just happen to fall into place so that I came across the song truly for the first time by accident a mere few weeks after I consciously decided to download it?
Or did I previously encounter the song but was only now beginning to consciously perceive/notice it because hey – I just downloaded it a few weeks ago and listened the crap out of it?
How much of a coincidence is a coincidence? How much of a disaster is a disaster? When I consider the second option of my song situation, the idea of it all being a coincidence doesn’t hold much lustre; I don’t feel as giddy. Just as when I have a string of bad days and concoct the idea that the universe has a personal vendetta against me, I seek comfort in knowing that I’ve had a much longer string of good days.
There will always be confounding variables in one’s life and at the end of the day, you are the ultimate decider of which scenarios and explanations you give credence to. I asked a very wise friend of mine whether achieving closure, say after a break up, required both parties involved. The simple, but slightly scary answer, is no. You can talk for hours, ask those burning questions and have them answered, but you can’t help but draw your own interpretations on how those questions were answered and what those answers mean to you.